5 more days till I could say I have at least lived a quarter of this year full of regrets. I have hurt too much and loved too little. Cried too much and laughed too little. Promised myself things I knew that it was impossible to be done and I still have yet to do it. Did things I wish I didn’t. Loose things and people which I wish I didn’t let go off too easily. So many regrets in just 4 months; I must say I am disappointed in myself for I have failed to be a better person be it deen wise or just human wise.
I have wasted so many tears on people that weren’t worth my time. Lost blood for people that didn’t benefit me in any way. Broke my heart for the one that would eventually leave & did it to him instead. I was and still am so gullible. “Why were you so stupid?” are things that I would constantly question myself each night. I know that there’s no turning back for my actions be it good or bad. I have to keep moving on, look forward and keep striving.
However I do not know what is bothering me so much nowadays that this heart doesn’t seem to be at ease. I’m unhappy with who I am, who I was, and uncertain of who I am going to be in the future. I wouldn’t turn back time if I had the chance to for I know that it wouldn’t make things any better, but worse. It’s the harsh reality that we are all constantly engulfed and are living in a life full of regrets and guilt as we’re never able to compensate with ourselves that life has to go on.